San Nicolas Forum Site
Please Login to view the full features of Sannicolanian's Forum Board.


Made to Connect Sannicolanians
 
HomePortalChatboxCalendarFAQMemberlistUsergroupsRegisterLog in

 

Famous Quotes

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
Author Message
rapjam
=::Elite Moderator::=
=::Elite Moderator::=


My Mood Today : Thinking
My Country Location : Philippines
Posts : 548
SNP Cash $ : 1140
Join date : 2009-05-29
My Barangay Secret
Female
Age : 30

PostSubject: Famous Quotes   Thu Jun 11, 2009 9:39 am

If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me.
--Bobcat Goldthwait

Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
--Jim Carrey

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
--Elayne Boosler

Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
--John Mendoza

Relationships are hard. It's like a full-time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp.
--Bob Ettinger

I don't know what's wrong with my television set. I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station. I actually bought a congressman.
--Bruce Baum

I had a linguistics professor who said that it's man's ability to use language that makes him the dominant species on the planet. That may be. But I think there's one other thing that separates us from animals. We aren't afraid of vaccuum cleaners.
--Jeff Stilson

Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.
--Sue Murphy

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you.
--Rita Mae Brown

Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem. Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.
--Jerry Seinfeld

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.
--Ellen DeGeneres

USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
--David Letterman

A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. 'You know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too.'
--Jake Johansen

I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
--Lily Tomlin

The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews. Bottleopeners. 'Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off. I've got the toe clippers right here.'
--Jerry Seinfeld

Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fishburger and I realize, Oh my God. I could be eating a slow learner.
--Lynda Montgomery

Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography.
--Paul Rodriguez

And always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said, 'A
truck!'
--Emo Phillips
Back to top Go down

Famous Quotes

View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1

Permissions in this forum: You cannot reply to topics in this forum
San Nicolas Forum Site :: Hobby and Entertainment :: . :: Jokes -