San Nicolas Forum Site
Please Login to view the full features of Sannicolanian's Forum Board.

Made to Connect Sannicolanians
HomePortalChatboxCalendarFAQMemberlistUsergroupsRegisterLog in



View previous topic View next topic Go down 
Author Message
=::Elite Moderator::=
=::Elite Moderator::=

My Mood Today : Thinking
My Country Location : Philippines
Posts : 548
SNP Cash $ : 1140
Join date : 2009-05-29
My Barangay Secret
Age : 32

PostSubject: HOW TO PHOTOGRAPH A NEW PUPPY   Wed Jun 10, 2009 5:04 pm

1. Remove film from box and load camera

2. Remove film box from puppy's mouth and throw in trash

3. Remove puppy from trash and brush coffee grounds from muzzle

4. Choose a suitable background for photo

5. Mount camera on tripod and focus

6. Find puppy and take dirty sock from mouth

7. Place puppy in pre-focused spot and return to camera

8. Forget about spot and crawl after puppy on knees

9. Focus with one hand and fend off puppy with other hand

10. Get tissue and clean nose print from lens

11. Take flash cube from puppy's mouth and throw in trash

12. Put cat outside and put peroxide on the scratch on puppy's nose

13. Put magazines back on coffee table

14. Try to get puppy's attention by squeaking toy over your head

15. Replace your glasses and check camera for damage

16. Jump up in time to grab puppy by scruff of neck and say-"No, No, outside!!"

17. Fix a drink

18. Sit back in Lazy Boy with drink and resolve to teach puppy "sit" and stay" the first thing in the morning



He does not have a beer gut,
He has developed a Liquid Grain Storage Facility.

He is not quiet,
He is a Conversational Minimalist.

He is not stupid,
He suffers from Minimal Cranial Development.

He does not get lost all the time,
He discovers Alternative Destinations.

He is not balding,
He is in Follicle Regression.

He is not a cradle robber,
He prefers Generationally Differential Relationships.

He does not get falling-down drunk,
He becomes Accidentally Horizontal.

He is not short,
He is Anatomically Compact.

He does not have a rich daddy,
He is a Recipient of Parental Asset Infusion.

He does not constantly talk about cars,
He has a Vehicular Addiction.

He does not have a hot body,
He is Physically Combustible.

He is not unsophisticated,
He is Socially Challenged.

He does not eat like a pig,
He suffers from Reverse Bulimia.

He is not a bad dancer,
He is Overly Caucasian.

He is not a sex machine,
He is Romantically Automated.

He does not hog the blankets,
He is Thermally Unappreciative.

He is not a male chauvinist pig,
He has Swine Empathy.

He does not undress you with his eyes,
He has an Introspective Pornographic Moment.

He is not afraid of commitment,
He is Monogamously Challenged.
Back to top Go down


View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1

Permissions in this forum: You cannot reply to topics in this forum
San Nicolas Forum Site :: Hobby and Entertainment :: . :: Jokes -