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Instructions for Stupid People

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rapjam
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PostSubject: Instructions for Stupid People   Wed Jun 10, 2009 11:57 am

In Honor of Stupid People (an expansion as well as a revisit)

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside.
(The shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
(And that would be how???.....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(But, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside
down."
(Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????....)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(But wouldn't this save me more time)?


On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate
machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness..."
(And...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(Talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet,
eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not
enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands
or genitals."
(Ouch! My God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the
stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe
even chuckle)... in other words send it to everyone. We all need to
smile every once in a while.
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Instructions for Stupid People

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