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Join date : 2009-05-16
Location : San Nicolas, Pangasinan
Age : 29
|Subject: Love Story: Tragice Love Story Mon May 25, 2009 9:47 am
Story: Let me share my story, back then on 2002 I met Marc who becomes my best friend. We shared a lot of things in our life; we've been through a lot of circumstances. He once becomes my strength. I enjoyed being with him, he treated me more than anyone. During our junior high I felt something towards him. Mixed feelings. He had this girl named Louise, his girlfriend in the campus. Jason is the president of the GLEE club while Louise is the cheerleader. Many people thought that they were a perfect couple.
Well, Jason is really attractive with Korean looks, tall and a gentleman. Louise, in the other hand indeed pretty, gorgeous, attractive and a very nice classmate. She's my classmate in music class and she treated everyone fairly. Every time Jason seek help from me I had this sad feelings, I don’t know what I truly felt towards him.
"Jessie please help me! This time I really need your help" that's what Jason was saying, begging to me. I'm out of words and can’t answer. I can’t look to his eyes directly.
"Jessie, I know you are my best friend..I love Louise a lot I don’t know what would I do loosing her..Bessy please help me" he almost cry. I feel pity to him and pity to myself. I'm so stupid I fell in love with my best friend. "What can I do? You always knew you’re best friend. What's your problem that's also my problem? Dont worry I’ll talk to Louise tomorrow morning" I said to him. But deep inside me, I’m begging his heart to also like me. I'm really a jerk. A plane jerk.
I walked alone, I’m silently crying because of the situation they have I mean we have. I don’t want to confess my love to him because he might think I’m taking advantage of our friendship. And don’t I want us to have a misunderstanding. I decided to keep my feelings and wont messed up with his life. Yeah, he is my best friend. When I arrived in our house I saw Jason waiting for me. I was shocked when I saw him. He didn’t even call me.
"Hi Jessie, uhhmmm..i have something very important to say" jason said smiling. When i heard that word "important" my heart stopped from beating for a while. I thought he also feels the same. Nah..i should'nt think that way.
"ohhhh..okey..then let's talk in the backyard then" i walked while he's following me he uttered the word " thank you". I was wondering why he would be thankful.
"what's that thank you for?" I ask him confusedly. I never hear Jason saying the word thank you to me. “I’m thankful to have you as my best friend. I hope you would treat me the same too." he said hugging me. That time, I’m really very confused why he's saying those words so sudden. “what happen to you? are you sick??" i said laughing giving him a high five. "Is something fishy going on huh?" i continued.
"I'm leaving Jessie" he said looking seriously to me. "whaaat..why so sudden? You didn’t mention anything to me? Why are you leaving? you don’t want me any more? how about Lousie?" i cried out loud. i'm so shocked. I'm out of myself. I don’t know anymore what I’m saying. "Jessie, listen. I know it's hard for you seeing me leaving but i really need to" he hugged me again calmly. "Anyway, louise knew it already. I told her about it just last week and she understands me. I have to study to CALIFORNIA for my university". I can't believe that I’m the last person who knew it. I felt so disappointed but I didn’t show it to him. I'm just his best friend anyway, I’m not important, Why should I be disappointed. I told myself and let him go.
"Then good luck" I walked away in front of him. "Can we spent time together tonight?" he said grabbing my hands. "It's late already I still have to study for the exam tomorrow. You better go home early and rest for your flight tomorrow" I continued walking without looking at him. "Ohhh...then take care of you Jessie.” I ended up myself saying "I don’t know". How long would I keep this feeling of mine? How long would he be staying to California? I still have a lot of things to ask him but I ended myself knowing nothing.
9 years later I got news from his cousin john that he'll be coming back. I'm so glad that I can see him already. I'm hoping he can recognize me. I was walking in our village when I saw Marc's dad. I feel so enlighten. I want to run towards him and hugged him tightly. I want to express to him that I really missed him a lot. But I don’t have the courage to do so. I saw a guy coming out in the car. A very handsome guy. Looks like Jason and I bet he is. He saw me, he went near me. "Jessie?” he said smiling.
"ahhh Jason?" I said pretending that I was surprised but my heart really jumped when I saw him. "You’ve grown a lot...you so handsome" i just said.
"Thanks. Your so pretty, prettier than before" he continued praising me. I just smiled at him and make a glance. After our small talk he invited me in our house. Starting that day we hang-out together. He still treated me as his best friend.
I saw Jason sitting on the bench. I went near him, I bet he’s sad. "What happen?" I asked. "Nothing. By the way Jessie have you been in love?" he asked me seriously. My heart almost collapsed. He's in love again. How about me? Maybe I don’t have any chance to his heart anymore. I always remind myself that we could only be best friend not lovers. I just nodded to his question. "Why are you asking anyway?" I ask him. "You know what Jessie, I like someone else. But I don’t have the courage to say this. Every time I’m in front of her I’ll be speechless when I want to confess to her" Jason said playing with his ring. I almost say that I also feel the same when I’m in front of him but I just control myself. "Ahhhhh...who is she?” I ask him again and again. "She’s so lucky to have" I continued.
“I bet I’m not. I think she likes someone. She's my friend. These feelings are so awkward. I want here to be mine. But I maybe she would reject me and thinks that I’m taking advantage of my friendship" Jason explained seriously. We have the same situation before. “I also feel that Jason" I said almost teary. “I like him just before but I can’t confess either because he might think that I’m taking advantage of our friendship and I don’t want us to have a misunderstanding. He’s really precious to me" I explained to him with mixed feelings. I can’t believe that I shared our situation when we were young. “Those guys must be lucky. Who is he?" he holds my hands. Just like before I can still feel the smoothness of his palm. Just like before I can still feel his emotion. Now I pity him. Maybe he was rejected by the girl he likes the most. “He’s a friend. No he isn’t lucky to have me... He likes someone else" looking at Jason's eyes I can feel that his really hurt.
Why can’t he love me? Why can’t he learn loving me? If he chooses me I’ll make him the most living life. My heart almost burst. I can only feel the pains.
"Hash I think it's late already" I said to him trying to changed the topic. "Ohm I think so. Let’s go home" he grabbed my hands and holds it till we reached our houses.
"See you tomorrow then?" I said to him. "goodnight." he smiled at me giving me an envelope. "What’s this?" I asked him out of curiosity. "Read it when you're inside" he smiled and ran going home.
When I reached my room I slowly open the envelope and saw my name there. It say's JESSIE my BESSY. I was so touched when I saw our endearment, BESSY.
I hope you wouldn’t change your treatment towards me. I don’t want to hurt you. You are my bossy.
I'm hoping we could stay longer together. I want you to be with me. Maybe now is the right time to confess what I felt towards you. The person I meant to you is Jessie. I like her since before. I love her the first time I saw her.
But I lose my hopes. I use Louise to cover up the pains I’ve suffered since then. I don’t want us to be apart just because of what I felt towards you. I want to shout out that you're my love. Until now it didn’t change. You're always on my mind.
I hope you'd love me back. But maybe this is only my illusion. No matter what happen you would only stay in my heart.
I feel so happy, I can’t stop my feelings. I jumped out loud and have tears of joy. I decided to confess my feelings to him early in the morning. I can’t sleep well because of excitement. I want to hug him. And say the words I love you.
Early in the morning I ate my breakfast and headed to the bathroom, just like the same I saw another envelope. Just like the same of what Jason given me. I opened it excitedly. It say's there "tomorrow is my wedding. Please come... i hope you can do me that favor" I almost collapsed when i read it. I can't believe that after the happiest night. Now, I have this horrible morning. I torn the envelope and throw it away. I don’t want to eat. I don’t want to sleep. I feel so desperate and devastated. My mother worries a lot of my health. My mom is my strength when Jason went abroad. "Honey...you'll be thinner when you'll not eat. Just let him go" my mom hugged me, comforted me. "MOM. Am I a bad daughter a bad girl?" I asked my mom still crying. "No..No..Dont say that" my mom continued comforting me.
Today is Jason's wedding? I decided not to attend the wedding I’ll only get hurt then. Almost afternoon, my mom receives a phone call. She accidentally dropped the phone. She was crying. I run towards her and ask what happen. She was all speechless. She uttered the word Jason. "Why mom what happened?"I ask nervously. "He was in a car accident" my mom continued. We rushed going to the hospital. There we met the whole family of Jason crying. I ran towards his dead body. I cried out loud. I can’t believe this would happen. This is my entire fault. Jason's dad gave me an envelope, exactly the same as what Jason gave me yesterday. “He was going to fast when a big car crushed onto his car" his dad explained trembling. “He wants to surprise you with this big event in his life. HE really wanted to walk with you in the aisle." his father hugged me tightly. My tears fell down when I saw my name and Jason's name in the card. " JESSIE and JASON NUPTIAL."..I really can’t believe it. I fu*k**' hate myself.
Now, I’m all alone longing for Jason's love. It's all my fault. The guy that I love once is now gone. How sad my life is.
And now I’m gone leaving my diary in silent. I'll be happy now together with Jason. This is the time that I’m going to live with Jason peacefully. We might be gone but our hearts stay the same as what we felt to each other.